God has got it but sometimes I feel like I'm losing it

Sometimes I can't wrap my mind around what is going on. I don't want to. I did go to Women of Hope last night. It's a small group, at our church, for women who have had cancer and are in different points in their treatment or recovery. It was a wonderful group, I will continue going. It's funny how such a difficult diagnosis or topic being discussed can make a bunch of girls find humor in things and start laughing. I felt bolstered up their strength and attitude. But that only lasted til I woke up this morning. You know the story about how God provided manna for the Israelites in the desert everyday. If they didn't pick it up everyday they would go hungry and if they picked up too much, to try to save it for the next day , it would go all nasty? Well, let's just say I didn't pick up my manna today. I didn't have myDaily Bread so to speak. I didn't take time this am because I was feeling sorry for myself. Big stinkin deal, I had to have blood draw for a stinkin heart cath. I didn't get my manna. I thought I would just try to handle today on my own and it doesn't work. The only thing I got done was one load of laundry. I'm venting, I'm allowed, right? So what do I do now. Kids will be home soon. How do I suck it up, and not spend the rest of the day on the sofa? I'm getting up off of the sofa(typing on iPad so its portable) Ok, I found my bible. Where do I look , where do I turn? Nope, I don't want to open it. Wait a sec. Just found devotional from last night. Psalm 139:13-18. You can look it up, but the last 2 verses jumped out at me Ps139:17-18 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered. I can't even count them;they out number the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! I'm telling you, I did not plan that. I woke up with tears this morning, but He was there. He is always there. He talks to me through His word, a friend, a song, sometimes quietly, or sometimes with something really cool. But, even when I don't call for Him, or I turn my back to Him, or shut Him out, He is still there,thinking about me. What an amazing Lord. I think I'll go brush my hair, and go get my little girl from school, and think about Him,thinking about me.