God was not surprised

God was not surprised when I was at the Dr. last week and he told me the cancer had moved to my lungs, but I was...I suppose. I tend to turn a blind eye to lots of things in my life I don't want to deal with , and cancer is the biggest one. Yes, it's back and I'm at a loss. I started chemo last wed, I think , and have a heart cath this wed because my heart is worn out from chemo and Herceptin. I am so sad, but not crushed. I keep having this picture of Jesus sitting beside me, and my plate is full of worries, things, cancer , troubles, tests, results, chemo, weakness, then I look at His plate and it is clean,empty, and he scoops up my plate, and scrapes all the stuff onto His. I have to hang onto that picture. I have to hang onto the lovely promises in His word and the beautiful things He has shown me on this path. The Blessings. My lovely family from husband to children, to Mom, Mother in law and father in law, and brothers and sisters that I am getting to know again. Blessings. And peace. Friendships he has restored.
Rick was gone on a business trip halfway around the world when I received the news from my Dr. A few days before , I thought to myself"how can I bear bad news without him beside me?". I felt the Lord tell me, I will be with you, and I can give you the peace and comfort Rick cannot. I want to be the one that you turn to first. I want you to find comfort in and trust in and cling to. Although my Mom and Mother in law were with me, it was the promise of Christ's love and salvation that caused me to be able to handle the news. And still does every minute. I won't get into details,mbut things aren't that rosey, not yet, but better days are coming. They always do. I'm in a valley, and I see the sunny hilltop. I'm on my way there, just holding onto my Savior with all that I have, resting and letting him clear my plate. I love you. Here's a scripture sent to me today
It's probably familiar but so beautiful
Psalm 62:5-8
Find rest my soul, in God alone,
My hope comes from Him
He alone is my rock and my salvation
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken
My salvation and my honor depend onGod
He is my mighty rock, my refuge
Trust in Him at all times, O people
Pour out your hearts to Him
For God is our refuge.

I am so blessed that I am not doing this alone, and I'm not talking about family, I'm talking about the Lord. I can't imagine going thru this without Him.
I'll keep blogging if you guys want. I don't want to post personal things on FB
Love you again. Ps. Please pray for a good heart cath on Wednesday and a clear PET scan onfri morning, and for peace thru those scans. Over and out,
Love, Jo