It turns out there is something called Horner's syndrome that can occur when people who have cancer in their lungs or nodes in the chest area. Apparently the tumor can push on a nerve making the eyelid drop. Weird! What is up with that?
Of course I got freaked out because when a Dr. should mention the word "lesion" or "tumor" I want to get the heck out of there. I got pretty upset. Once she realized there are tumors in my lung she put 2 and 2 together, but I still have to follow up with it. Perhaps a trip to Miami is in our future.
Welcome news was received that my heart function rose from 22% to about 44%. No more Life Vest, (not that it was getting worn anyway). That sucker got sent back via UPS a few days ago. So long and good-bye! It's a good sign my heart is getting stronger, but a little more energy to exercise would be great. Soon...
My cardiologist seemed more relieved than me. God bless him.
The 7th chemo treatment is scheduled for this Thursday and although it's a bitter thing, I am thankful. It is painful and causes neuropathy in my hands and feet, so there has been a lot of dropping things and tripping a lot, but we can deal with it. I am not sure what Dr. S will prescribe after the 8th treatment but there is a new drug that is being released on June 8th that may help me. It's not the TDM1 drug that a petition was started for, but it is promising. There is a group on FB called Our Her2 struggle, and they have been raising awareness of the TDM1 treatment that is being slowed down in Congress. They are working so hard. God bless them,too.
Speaking of which, a letter from Congressman Bill Posey arrived in the mail today, and it didn't feel like it was a form letter. I wrote and emailed and called both offices, describing my situation to try to help move things along. Anyway, it was a nice letter, and it made me feel quite happy and hopeful to get it. We shall see.
School is out and Sarah is at a little graduation party with a bunch of girls around the corner. I should really go over there to help, but she wore me out today shopping for an outfit for my niece's wedding in a few weeks (run on sentence). She does not like to wear anything but jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers, so it was very challenging to find a shirt and skirt. Now to figure out shoes.
I'm going through a series of the blues every so often,(a lot).and just have to repeat scripture, or when nothing comes to mind, remember the Lord is telling me how much He loves me and it calms me down. How blessed I am that He loves me so. My body and face are so different now, and when I walk by the mirror I forget what I look like. It's a shock. It may sound shallow, and I don't think I've ever been very vain, but it's a real downer to look so ill and feel it. In the morning there is some talking myself into putting makeup on and trying to work with what I've got. I've lost a lot of weight, and with no breasts, and bald headed, scars in lots of unfortunate places, I look... not too terrific. It's the enemy talking to me when I take a close look in the mirror and think, "sick and dried up", "wearing out", "go back to bed". Some days, the enemy wins, but more often I listen to the Holy Spirit who says, "do it", " get moving". My husband and kids never blink an eye at my appearance, except when I try too hard or wear my wig (which I love, but it creeps them out).
I was reading about the Proverbs 31 woman, and boy do we all fall short of her, but remember that "charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" At the end of the day, that's what I really want.
So, what up with that? What's up with the eye, and the flat chest and bald head and scars? Not much. My Lord is in control and He's not worried and He sees me already perfect like His Son. How wonderful.
I hear your voice as I read this. It makes me smile when I think of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that and everything you do!
Keep up the fight!
from mamahouse
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