Steady my Heart

      The Lord does steady my heart, miraculously.  I heard this song , last night at our Women Of Hope group at church.  Thank you so much to our group leader, Gina, for being such a wonderful servant and leading us calmly though these tough times, and sharing hope with us.  

This song gave me such comfort.  I am in the palm of His hand and He is the one who calms me down.  Even if it is only for a bit, He is always there, every time I need Him. 

      Yesterday was difficult for me.  I was thinking about all the mistakes I've made and perhaps, not staying on top of my health condition as I should've.  The guilt and regret was overwhelming yesterday.  Yet, I know this is not His will for me, to be looking backwards, and wondering what could I have done differently.  He wants me to look forward, and fight the fight and run the race set before me.  

Sometimes I feel I am writing these words to convince myself, but I know these truths are deep inside me.  The Lord has shown me and taught me His love and care for me.  I've got to put it into action in this life I am living, and trust Him.

      It reminds me of when I was a little girl, and I was so afraid of the water, particularly pools.  I was okay wading in the water, but when it came to jumping in a deep part, when my Dad was standing there asking me to trust him, that it would be ok, and he would catch me.  Well, I was so afraid that something would happen and he would let me go under.  It took so long for me to trust him, but he always caught me.  It wasn't, just a one time deal.  It seems like every time we would go swimming and he asked me to jump in, I was back at square one, with knees knocking and tears rolling down my cheeks.  

He would patiently stand there, for however long it took, until I took the plunge and he caught me, and then he would swim around with me holding tight around his neck, and I felt so safe.  Eventually I was able to jump in on my own, but it took a long time.  I still am not that big of a fan of water, and don't like to go underwater.  Hmmm, some fodder for therapy there...

     Anyway, God is standing in the water patiently waiting for me to take a leap into His arms.  He is tirelessly patient with me.  Perhaps that is why my illness has been hanging around for 11 yrs.  He is waiting for me to totally trust Him.  One difference is that I realize I will never be able to jump in without His arms catching me.  I can't do any of this cancer stuff without Him.  It's too much.  It's too hard.

     I think that's how He wants it though.  He wants the fear of the plunge to disappear but not my dependence on Him.  I am thankful for that.  My Lord and Savior, Jesus,  will never let me go under the water, and always be there to catch me, and delightfully carry me around through this life.

Here is a beautiful song by Kari Jobe that we listened to last night at church.  

http://youtu.be/BJi_7f1cpbk

Thanks for reading this post. I hope the song blesses you today. Love, Jo

PS.  Here is our Devotional written by Gina, from last nights mtg.

I think it applies to everyone even if they are not battling an illness.
April 16, 2012

(next meeting May 7th)

Song: “Steady My Heart” By: Kari Jobe
WOMEN OF HOPE ‘TRUTH’...........sometimes I don’t understand

Luke 24:45 (NIV) “Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.”
     Have you ever thought you understood something only to find out you weren’t even close? Have you ever wanted to understand something yet you knew there was a mental or emotional block that kept you from grasping a concept or from being able to see something in a different light? That can be frustrating, because ‘we just don’t get it.’ I was thinking about this passage in Luke 24 as I was preparing for Easter; it’s about Christ’s resurrection. But I couldn’t help but think how closely some of the scriptures applied to my own life when I was diagnosed with cancer and going through treatment.

•     Luke 24:30-31 (NIV) “30When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. 31Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight.” Jesus was right there with them in his glorified body and they didn’t recognize him! Many times during my cancer journey the Lord had to “open my eyes” and remind me he was there. He was right in the middle of my confusion, my pain and my fear.
  
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•    This scripture has become a prayer now and I routinely ask God to open my eyes that I might see him and my mind that I might understand his word and see how it applies to my daily life. I know that unless God opens my mind to his word, I may miss something and not even know it and unless he opens my eyes I may not be able to see him at work in my life.
  
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•    A personal example of this is Psalm 23. I’ve read it often prior to being diagnosed with cancer. But now it’s real to me, I think I understand it better. It’s been 3 years since my cancer diagnosis, yet when I read Psalm 23 now, it’s as though I just discovered it! 4”Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me.” At first, I couldn’t see Jesus in my valley (cancer). It didn’t seem like he was there......until he opened my eyes...... He helped me see that he was right there with me, sometimes even carrying me! 5”You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” God opened my mind to see the table (feast) he was preparing for me before my enemy (cancer). What an amazing thought; God will prepare a feast right before our enemy’s eyes! He didn’t remove my enemy in the way I expected, but he “opened my mind” to his word so I could understand how it applied to me personally. That became a feast for me. I can still taste that feast today! I am forever changed because Jesus took the initiative in my life when I was at my lowest place. Just like in Luke 23 when Jesus was crucified for my sins so I could be forgiven and have a relationship with God. He was the one who took the initiative. In Luke 24 Jesus was resurrected and had his glorified body, but the disciples were still thinking about his crucifixion and death. They were still trying to connect the dots then Jesus “opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.” Such grace he gives to weak people like us that he would help our limited minds grasp eternal truths!
  
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•     Let’s let Easter last a little longer this year, meditate on these scriptures and join me in praying this prayer often...Lord, open my eyes so that I can see you no matter what I am facing.......open my mind so that I can understand your word and see how applicable it is to me today!