Have you any good reason to be angry?

That verse is from Jonah 4:4, when Jonah is angry about the Lord showing mercy on Ninaveh.  The whole story of Jonah makes me think about things.  I haven't done a study on it, but I've read a message or two about it.
 I never saw it as God's mercy for a fish to save him from drowning and deliver him to where he was supposed to go.

 A terrible circumstance that was actually God's mercy for Jonah and Ninevah.  At the end of the book of Jonah,he is so distraught that he wants God to take his life.
I can't really relate to that, but I have had my angry moments for my situation, my illness, and have not seen how God is using to bless others.  I don't want to do this, this cancer stuff, appts, tests, chemo, just like Jonah did not want to go to that city.  I get angry and depressed about this path, but just like God asks Jonah, "Have you any good reason to be angry?", I feel like He is asking me that same question.  Sometimes it is so clear, I have my salvation, I have Jesus. All this and Jesus too!  I can't remember who said that?  Spurgeon maybe? I have my wonderful husband, children that have accepted Christ as their Savior, a loving family that take such good care of me, and the most amazing girlfriends who love the Lord and encourage me and teach me so much about the love of the Lord and His promises for me.  What reason do I have to be angry?
I know a few people who have been faced with a life threatening illness, and praise God, they have also taught me how to persevere.  Some of my friends have gone home to be with the Lord, but the memory of their smile and words of comfort continue to encourage me.
Some friends will tell me I'm an inspiration... don't be fooled.  There is nothing that you see in me that is inspirational.  It is all the Lord.  I am so scared and panicked, I can only catch my breath sometimes when I speak Jesus' name, and pray for Him to give me His strength and peace.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it when my friends tell me such things.   That's proof that He is working in me, and I am grateful, but just realize where I get me strength from.
Last night I got my Life Vest thing to wear in case of a heart attack , since my heart is weakened by all the chemo I've had.

 We are working on getting it stronger , but unfortunately only with meds, not exercise, yet.   So I have this vest that is a wearable defribullator, and it is much more of a contraption than I expected.  Again, fear and anger, that I have to wear it.  The four other times I've had chemotherapy, I have been relatively healthy,as far as I can remember, some of it is a blur), and just did it and carried on with life, pretty much.  Now I am not able to drive and someone has to be with me 24/7 in case I go belly up.  What reason do I have to be angry , I ask myself again? I get angry because my life is so altered and interrupted.  I'm not able to do what I want to do.  But then  the Lord reminds me, I am well taken care of and am able to have something to possibly save my life, and that He is watching over me. Thank you LORD.
I think I am trying to convince myself into not being angry.
That's okay with me, it's a moment to moment journey with us all, isn't it?
I know God understands my anger.
You know what tempers my anger? John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
I fail to remember this and focus on my difficulties going through my days. Why?
I have many blessings to focus on instead.  Here's one...
After the lady from the Life Vest company finished my "training" she prayed with us, she attends the same church that we do.  That was really neat, and another reminder that The Lord, my Savior has his eye on me.